… lies the fluorescent Navajo tweed of complete crogglement. This I discovered by forging onwards through repeated “this program has performed an illegal operation and will shut down” messages, to blue-screen-of-death with registry errors, to black screen with error boxes, to the point at which even an attempt to log onto my work PC produced a succession of blue and black screens – and finally a screen that consisted of the top 1/4 vertical green and blue bars with an interweaving of other colours of the type that bottom market fashion purveyors like to convince people are “in”, and the lower 3/4 vertical hot pink/purple bars with some of the same interweaving, which gradually gave way to bare bars. I’m sure with the addition of LSD – or maybe jet lag – it would have been fascinating. (Have you ever noticed that the pattern on the carpet in Vancouver airport creeps.) At which point even the IT people gave up, came over, looked, worked and eventually gave me an new-to-me computer.

How do I love Windows, let me count the ways …